#&!$

things are getting better..

2007-12-02T20:18:00.001-08:00

my beautiful love and her new hair!

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the world vs. me, me vs. me

2007-11-19T18:01:00.001-08:00

it seems people don't like who i am anymore, who I've become.

to be honest neither do i.

it seems I've changed noticeably.
i hear it at home.

i hear it at work.

i dont want to be how i am, im not happy it seems.

i dont know why exactly im not happy

it may be that i miss how everything was. everything was new, i didnt have to be serious about my life.

now i do, i have to work to pay this and that. it kind of sucks.

not that im lazy, although i am mostly, im just not feeling like im going to go anywhere in this life. i dont think ill be happy stuck at one profession, one job, one career.

i love to try new things.

i want to run my own business.
i want my own restaurant.

i want to go out at night and just have fun, not worry what anyone thinks or if ill be too tired at work.

i want to take trips.

how can you say you dont like what ive become, when i never knew who i was.

>the BE

2007-11-11T20:14:00.001-08:00

today we adopted a cat from the humane society. his name is midnight. hes 1 year old and was a stray.

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someday

2007-11-10T19:46:00.001-08:00

we all make mistakes. some worse than others. as my previous blog is talking about pain. i nearly ruined my amazing relationship with my girlfriend. now rebuilding that and the trust that was lost. im in pain and so is she. but i love her. i love her with all my heart. things havent been how they were when our love started.. but im certain that our pain now will inevitably better our relationship as long as we stay faithful. as long as we remember the good and strive to bring it back. 3 years weve been together. i love her. and there will be many more years..

pain. pain is hurting someone

2007-11-10T15:31:00.001-08:00

pain. pain is hurting someone you love. pain is being helpless. i found pain. i did it to myself.

someday im going to just

2007-11-09T08:38:00.001-08:00

someday im going to just run away. someday everything will be alright. someday.

2007-11-08T21:30:00.001-08:00

i missed this girl

what the shit has been going on...

2007-11-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well.

Last weekend, me and Leo went to a Chiodos show.. it was pretty amazing. Leo pretty much just went for Scary Kids. Man it was good.

I was also sick last week. that sucked. although, i kinda like being sick.. i get to lay around all day.

anyway.... thats about it..

tomorrow is friday..

the day so far...

2007-10-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

woke up to take leo to work, got a flat tire. put on the donut tire. got leo to work. was comming home. the guy in the next lane to the left was going about 90 and slammed intothe barrier to the left right next to me. started flipping and spinning, the end.

long nite

2007-10-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

im planning on staying up all night then going out tomorrow all day..
its my goal.

i wont be going to my grandmas funeral, which i really want to, but theres no way i can afford it right now. she will be missed.

im really bored with everything right now.

oh and i get to miss a one star nite show..
cause im not 21, how lame ass.

shit

-the BE

untitled

2007-10-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

my great grandma taught me to play the piano.
the first song i learned was fir elise.

i never forgot how to play it.
i never remembered the bass part of it though.

my grandma died, and i will miss her.
i will miss sleeping on the living room floor even though she had an extra bed.
and the little cans of treetop apple juice. playing the piano with her. waking up in the morning and watching gilligans island. going around the forest outside her house. her rock collection that she had found just walking around.

ill never get to see her again

almost time!

2007-09-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

only a few days till edgefest! cant wait to see bad religion, social distortion, and oh yea, oneSTARnite!.

i just got some new shoes, and socks.
theyre pretty awesome. pin stripe, im into that whole thing right now.. and probably forever.

i made some awesome oneSTARnite pins, theres some pretty cool ones if anyone wants one.
2/$1.00. and some of that money goes to the band! im not a cheat...

anyway, thats all i have right now, things are going good in my life right now.

read back a few months you'd think i was about to die!

later
-theBE

panic! at the monday

2007-09-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

so j9 was out, and i was the press operator, man. heavy labor, it was probably the first time in a year i was actually physically tired from work. not just the exhausted tired, the tired from sitting all day.

anyhow, heroes, awesome!

cant wait for next monday.

up late!

2007-09-23T16:53:00.001-07:00

i was up till around 5 this morning, and then woke up at 1030. just chillin on the new machine.

updated my myspace. running off of sodas.

justing broke his wrist! that sucks!

he may miss out on his cashew butter tomorrow!

no one knows what im talking about!

later!

-the BE

newnewnew

2007-09-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

i got a new computer, it's pretty awesome.

i lost a bid on vip tickets to edgefest today.

leo didnt have a great birthday, but its not really his birthday yet, so hopefully that will change.

justin9 is playing at edgefest!

the brian experience will be officially back up once i get 'reason'

as will 2025<< whats that you ask? youll find out soon.

i tried.

2007-07-29T21:26:00.001-07:00

exercising.
sit ups and push ups.
but i wasnt feeling it.

so i ran.

and im feeling it.

yea. i think im ok

2007-07-29T16:28:00.000-07:00

im feeling a little better.
mygirlfriend is comming back tomorrow.
imstarting to geton my feet again.
ive been practicing a lot of guitar.

istill dont feel totally there yet.
but its an improvement.

the big nothing

2007-07-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

It's late at night, for me anyway, and i should be asleep.

but i cant.
theres so much on my mind.
work, my girlfriend, money, life, my parents, my future.

im so restless,and nervous, nausiated

im horrible with money, and i cantsave a dime. i need to.
i want to go on a trip just to get away but i have to save. i need tofind some willpower inside me somewhere.

my girlfriends gone to hawaii for10days on a cruise. i wish i was there too, i never get to go anywhere or do anything. im always working. shouldnt someone my age have somefun sometime? why did i become 'an adult' so fast. i want to stop. iwanttoquit my job and flip burgers for a year, but i cant and if i did im one stupid fuck. i have a car, an apartment. i can barely survive now.

i cantgetmotivated at work anymore. i want todie when im there and i hateit, i want to be motivated i want to work. i dont want to let anyone down. i want everyone to make money. again i have tofind motivation. maybe just have a goal. i dont think i have anygoals. i feel as if i have nothing to look forward to.what is left? sometimesi want to giveup everything i own. drive a shitty car,if even that, ride a bike. not worry about money, or anything.

something inside me is giving up. i want to give up.

im dumb lately
i used to be smart,intelligent.
its almost gone now.
im hanging on to the last remenants.

i want tomove to another state.
i want to make more friends
i want to learn
i want togo to school

i dont want to be piled with responsibility at work
i dont want to be so stressed

i want relief

i want to wake up happy
i want to be awake. i wake upbut i dont think i am ever awake.

i want help
i want a vacation from work
i want a vacation from money
i want a vacation from life

i want to live a different life

i dont want to be so lazy
i want to exercise
i want to see the morning
i want to seethe afternoon, not from behind a desk

i want to go fishing with my dad

im not happy, i havent been for awhile now
i make jokes and i laugh

but im not happy, if that makes sense
im dumb

maybe i can sleep now

I am heaven sent.. dont you dare forget

2007-06-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

its been a slow week, probably because im actually looking forward to this weekend.
today was crappy. alisons uncle passed away.
and ive got work out the ass.

i love alison.
i love spending so much time with her. more time than ever.
one of those people you cant get sick of. no matter how much youre around.

anyways
drinking a jones cola.

getting ready for bed

so i can wake up one day closer to 20
i remember when austin turned 20, i think that was the birthday i ditched school to attend. and baily drove us. fun times.

well another day another dollar

to long of a coma...

2007-06-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

so. i lie a lot.
as justin 9 so pointed out i post something once a month and in that post i say how im going to post everyday then stop.

so im promising nothing.

right now im listening to brand new. eating ranch sunflower seeds.
in all reality i should be asleep, as i have to work tomorrow.

i am going to casa grande tomorrow, after work. its my dads birthday, i never see my paretns anymore. its pretty hard when im 80 miles away, and work all the time. i miss them, and my little brothers. i also miss my cousins, and friends who are still in cg.

lifes different.
a year ago i was still in cg, working at francisco grande. living with my dad, and having to drive to see alison all the time. the driving part sucked, but those were still good times. not that these times were bad, just that it was nice not having to pay for apartments, and cars, and life. not worrying about ruining the rest of your life in debt. but im doing good.

im going to be two decades old this friday, no longer a teenager. not that things will be different. but its weird to think.

things have been nicer lately, my girlfriends 18 finally, and it seems we are spending more time together than ever, id say we were in a rut. seeming 'grumpy' a lot, and bickering over stupid things but its all different now. happiness.

im living i an apartment, with my best friend, leonard, and his friend from oregon.
rents cheap, and its nice to be with leo again. its nice to have someone around to talk to, if i wasnt with alison, i would be alone. but no longer.

all and all life is good.

i need to start getting out of the house more.
maybe go to shows more often, or other things.

this weekend im going to sedona for the say with alison. its become sort of a tradition for my birthday, its nice.

anyway, im going to go to bed so im not dead tomorrow.
goodnight all

this just in...

2007-04-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

im going to write something

if you dont know,
i was in a car accident a few weeks ago.
and my jeepwas totalled.
and with the money from jusst the jeep, i got a 2007 honda civic coupe.
its niiice

leos comming down.
and im super excited.

i took alison to her senior prom. so its the last prom ill ever attend. it was fun

captain america died... or did he?

i bought alkaline trio's remains a week or so ago
its niiice

and im tired

goodnight

i dont feel well

2007-03-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

thats about how my day was.

and im going to bed.

another day another 2000 gil

2007-03-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

lets see ill start from the beginning.

7:00 am
woke up.
then proceeded to shower

7:15 am
got on ffxi to get money from items i sold at the auction house, and put up more.

7:30 am
got ready for work

8:00 am
went to work

8:30 am
got to work

and worked a lot.

im not doing the time thing anymore...

went to sonic for lunch with justin, where we had another good time, with a guy who couldnt comprehend the order of a #3 extra long chili cheese coney, and 2 additional extra long chili coneys. he fumbled around for 5 mins trying to spit out the order, saying wait.. wait.. wait you want. ect.ect.

then worked a lot

mondays are different now.

i work 9-5:30. it was dreadfully long.

i love 8-4:30

hmhm

after work i had to stop home to get my compy, because alison was dying to play ffxi.

then i got to her house, and ate tacos
then tryed fixing her computer, unsucessfully

then we played ffxi for about 3 hours maybe. well she did. i just tell her what to do when i want to get something i need done then let her do what she wants to do. it will be fun when i cancel my cable tv, and get her compy up and running enough to play ffxi on hers, then get her an account so we can play together and she can have her own character.

im pretty tired right now. so im going to go to sleep.

i totally lied...

2007-03-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

when i said i was going to do this more often.

well hopefully this time i mean it.

im going to start blogging daily!
theres so much going on in my life right now. i need some way to just sort through it all, and this is going to help me.

well ill recap my weekend, maybe my past few weeks.

Today:
Woke up stuffy and blah. layed around in bed after a long night of hanging out with thom, sarah, and alison. and a little game, i like to call, final fantasy eleven. so i was living in bed till about 1, and did laundry, got a few groceries, got alison some flowers, and played ffxi. alison was at a bridal shower. then she was done with it, so i went to visit her. and i layed in her bed (come on im sick!) and we played ffxi together.

my girlfriend. shes so cool. and youd be lucky to find a girl like her anywhere else.
she plays dnd with me, and she likes final fantasy? who does that?!

Saturday:
woke up early for a weekend, and went to hometown buffet for some breakfast, and proceeded to renfest. and spent half the day. the hottest weather this year for sure. and for the first time, since the history of my life, i did not. get a sunburn. we walked around, exhausted from the heat. practically getting a drink from every stand we passed. i didnt buy any souveniers. but i did pick up business cards. i want everything there. but i think about it all too much, and decide to save my money. and somehow, i never have money! weird. then we went to thom and sarahs, at guacamole chips, and guacamole, and thom got me wings. how awesome. and we played some dnd. then then an hour or so of ffxi. then drove home. half asleep.

Last Week:
busyyy. i dress up now, for work. a nice shirt, and tie. and might i say i look damn good. i got one of those hair cut things, and i look totally professional. got a few biig projects to work on, and the week, or maybe it was 2 weeks before, we changed how everything was done im not getting in to specifics, no matter how many times i try to explain what it is i do/we do, i cant ever get anyone to understand! but its okay, i might not even understand it myself. anyway, very very busy.

my life:
right now. good, although im sick.
i have an amazing girlfriend
amazing friends
amazing family
im enjoying my life a little more
opportunities, they are flying from every direction
money is to be made
fun is to be had

i didnt get to see 300, but thats okay

until tomorrow!

i sell houses, but i live in an apartment

2007-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

i had this project at work, which was a real drag, and lacking in well. excitement. turning these old realtor business cards, and postcards into matching flyers, and well, the material was lacking. so i did my own thing instead, and i was told i didnt have to continue with the other project, such a burden off my chest. i feel free. and now i can explore my creativity! i made 2 of my own flyers, and after the news i could continue my own, i made 14 more, in a day. im pretty exhausted.

in other news, all i can say is. LOST, tomorrow. ill be zoned out for two hours, ill miss my friends, and turning our heads and looking at eachother after something insane happens, with our mouths wide open, and me saying ...'what the fuck..." on average every 1.5 minutes.

but still.

good tv shows that need to be watched consistently are:
House
Heroes
Battlestar Galactica
LOST

Thats pretty much what i watch

Hells kitchen, iff they bring it back for a third season, which i hope.

other news, on the downside
i might have to owe some taxes
i dont know what to get my girlfriend for our anniversary
i dont know how im going to afford college, and how im going to keep a full time job
i need a new car

oh yea my car, i was about to get on the 51 after work, i was at a stoplight, a cycle cop comes in between me and another car, and tells me that my blinker light was too bright and that i was blinding other motorists. gay.

little did he know, one of my front headlights was out ha.
i bought new headlights, and tried replacing it. i got the bad one out. but theres this case around it, and the screws are like fucked up in it. i tried damn hard to unscrew them, but any more and id strip the screw.

something more positive now. hmm

all i can think about is how much happier i am at work now that i have more freedom in my creativity, and how i dont have to do that junk.

woo.

goodnight

2007-02-04T21:58:00.000-08:00

so i worked on work stuff today. made a realtor flyer. and im commin in early tomorrow to make more. talked to adam a little tonight. im upset at myself for not knowing what to say.

i cleaned a little today.
spent some time workin on fafsa
and filling out ai application.

when the lady gave us the folder with the application in it, she was like wow look they even put a pen in here, so no one has an excuse not to fill it right now. i wanted to ask her if there was 50 bucks in the folder for the application fee haha.

im pretty tired.
just felt like writing something.

goodnight all.

hmm...

2007-02-04T15:45:00.000-08:00

i havent post in awhile.

but im back!

so this weekend i went to the Art Institute open house. and saw brandon jose. which was pretty cool.

anyway i went to the advertising and graphic design area and the Academic Director of that area talked to us, really cool guy, and ive been thinking lately, do i want to do graphic design? they dont even really make that much money, but besides money, is it what i want to do? working at the printshop gave me a new perspective on it. even though im doing mainly shit work. and im thrown into projects that i dont personally have the knowledge to even do, its a big drag. and lately ive been thinking, is this what i want to do with my life? but what is the difference between advertising, and graphic design, one of the first questions he asked us if we knew, during the open house, and listening to him speak i kinda felt better about it. advertising is the brain power basically, is pretty much 2/3 business stuff, and 1/3 graphic design. after the academic director spoke to us, and we were dismissed i stuck around to talk to him, and was like. im still stuck, id like to do both, advertising and graphic design, and he said that was good, and im pretty much like him. but where did i see myself in 10 years. who would answer that question flipping burgers? lol. i said a boss. an he told me advertising. so there you have it. this is basically me rambling on telling specific points that made me want to do this. so if i forget ill have this to remind me.

game night

2007-01-11T20:37:00.000-08:00

i scored a billion points.

and now im eating a pickle. in rememberance of this glorious night.
i got to see my love today. didnt think i would, so that was good.
and now im going to do work. for work, at home.

maybe a little piano

justin. you missed my shining moments..

9 crimes.

2007-01-09T22:46:00.000-08:00

woo, found free sheet music. and i just played damien rice's 9 crimes. actually read the music. woo.

work

2007-01-09T21:41:00.000-08:00

was long today
i had a lot to do, and im still not done. id like to just catch up. finish everything. have nothing to do for 5 mins then have someone give me something.
thatd be nice

theres only so much the internet will teach you about the piano for free.
its amazing.
tomorrow when i get my check, after work, im going to buy a book or something.

maybe a guitar. but probably not.

someone give me a song to learn..

i dunno..

2007-01-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

here is a list of chords i have learned

C, Cm, C7, D, Dm, D7, E, Em, E7, F, Fm, F7, G, Gm, G7, A, Am, A7, B, Bm, B7

im going to teach myself the m7's next.

the m stands for minor, no m stands for major, and 7 is like 7 keys wide, basically means an extra note, like the C chord is the notes, C, E, and G, where as C7 is C, E, G, and Bb. which brings me to b, that stands for flat.

yea..

i like the piano.

and i love my alison

im a creep

2007-01-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

so. 3 and a half hours of practice, getting feeling back for the piano, and i can play a creepy version of 'creep', and part of 'brick'.

my fingers are hurting, and my hands, a good sign i think.
if i keep this amount of practice up ill be doing good.

wellim off to bed now. maybe, or just laying in it listening to music.

goodnight all

new years resolution (ADD ONS)

2007-01-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

12: be a better boyfriend
13: learn the piano, guitar, and maybe bass by the end of the year. (i can do it, i have skills)
14: stay focused, and more organized at work

psh ill addem as they come

fake plastic keys

2007-01-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

like the song fake plastic trees, by radiohead.
.. i thought it was clever.

i got my christmas gift thats been sitting at my girlfriends house since well.. christmas.
my keyboard.
and its right next to me. and my other keyboard (laptop)

ive been messing around for the past about 3 hours. playing it.

ive got the basic idea of ben folds five 'brick' down.
but i still suck at piano.

i used to play all the time.
but that was a long time ago anyway.

buy me this book

http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/store/smp_detail.html?cart=33772030665137860&item=2960134
it will make me happy.

back to playing the piano.

luggage? what is lug.. age?

2007-01-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

So went to the airport to get alison and her friend.
and we meet at the gate and go down to get their luggage.

we wait and wait as the same bags pass again and again in the carousel.

then it stops and says completed.

and most of the passengers from her flight are like what the fuuck.

so now were waiting in baggage claim area trying to find out where the bags are. the people in front of us i guess got a bog bottle of crown royal on the plain somehow, and were now getting wasted in line.

luckily the bags were on the last flight from vegas that morning so we got out of there at 3am.

and i dropped them off.

and slept.

and now i woke up and wrote this.

Survival..

2007-01-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

I sold some movies to gamestop.

i needed cash.

none of my favs. but still sucks.

why can i not save money...

my love comes back in 7 hours.
and my leos probably already left...

pearl harbor sucked, and i miss you

2007-01-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

after work i went to justins house in apache junction.
his wife made good chili. and we went to walmart to get a dvd player hookup.

then we watched jim gaffigan beyond the pale, and team america.

it was pretty fun. i havent gotten to hang out with anyone i know up here, so yeah.

alison is comming back tomorrow morning at 1:10, so ill be there to get her.
ive missed her so much. and shes been sick the last few days of her trip.

on a lighter note, im not eating today. because i have no money. woohoo.

get it.. lighter note..

basketball marathons galore

2007-01-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

we played 3 games, the team i was on the first game lost, then i went to the other team, and won the game with a game point. then scored about 3 in the third game which we won.

i sucked the first game, and half the second.

when i get the ball i get hyper and shoot it, i tried calming myself and passing it to other, or taking a breath and shooting. i made a few and got some good passes.

not my best performance, but certainly not as bad as the first time i started playing.

well except that first game, i was pretty bad.

3 hours of bball is good exercise.

and i drand 3 bottles of water, and a half gallon at home.

i drank a little bit of soda, lke a half cup.

i also had a monster. its not soda though...

long wongs

2007-01-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

dirty name, serious wings. thats what i ate today.

People always ask me...
What do i do at my job?
well I:
1. Upload files to stores for clients (files being business cards, flyers, postcards, ect)
(not to mention create stores, and now am starting to design skins for their stores.. makin'em look pretty)
2. I can make their files variable, meaning, i can make it so anyone who has access to their site (mainly the companys employees) can fill out their name, and info, and it will print the business card as such.
3. I push files through our system so that it (theoretically) will be handled faster, get printed quicker. (this is used mainly for simple jobs that the client has already supplied)
4. I am the keeper of the discs, meaning i have all the old files weve ever done (most anyways) in a bundle of cd books. so whenever anyone needs an old file, to reprint or work off of, i am the man.
5. I handle a little graphics work, design, making files i get from clients print ready.
6. I operated IGEN 3, a few nights a week. Print operator. I hope to get certified one day.
7. Sometimes when they need me, i work in bindery, cutting paper, making folders, scoring, folding, packing.

thats a brief overview. theres lots inbetween. but thats pretty much it.

today was hecktic.
but it wasnt my worse day. i have lots to do tomorrow when i get in.

tomorrow is basketball.
with justin down i have to 'step up my game'. ill prob stay there as long as i can. i dont know what to do with my time. and sports is good for me. help me accomplish some of my resolutions maybe. speaking of which, im going to try and go tomorrow with no soda. i may get a headache because im addicted... to caffinee.

new years resolution(s)

2007-01-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

1. the number one on most peoples list ( i conformed) lose weight.
2. drink more h2o
3. read more
4. save more
5. be more outgoing
6. see about college
7. draw more
8. do something cool
9. learn the piano again
10. get a tattoo, after i do number one. so it doenst shrivle, or something. fat physics?
11. work on my website (http://www.graffitistudios.net)

untitled

2007-01-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

so i was laying in bed, listening to music, trying to fall asleep.

but i couldnt. all i could do was think.

so i got up to take a shower.

and the thoughts didnt go away.

who am i?
i used to be the fat loner kid, who would sit in the library before school, i didnt even read books in there. id just sit. i only had a few friends my freshman year of high school. the friends i had forged from my stanfield elementary, which i left because i 'couldnt stand it'. to a school that knocked me down a few steps. i was in stanfield K-7th, then i went to casa grande junior high, i wish i could have stayed at stanfield, made stronger friends, stronger memories, but i didnt.

so im in high school now, in this trail of memories.
sitting in a library. waiting for the bell to ring.
day in day out.
my routines dont fade.

i go to school i go home i go to school i go home.

i have time to improve, improve myself, i dont. i say i am going to, only to wake up to go back to school.

then my sophmore year i meet people i live by. i lived in the middle of nowhere, so when i get outside to get on the bus my sophmore year. whoa there are new people here.
slowly get to know them, somehow through the course of fate we're just friends. that in turn leads me to more friends, something fresh somehing new. the air has a new smell in it now. me, leonard, micheal, and david. just hanging out. playing 'magic'.

i think they truly saved my life, i was only getting fatter and more of a hermit.
they gave me a second chance.

my junior year i dropped a ton of weight, and came back to school thinner. i wouldnt say cooler. ha.

i can remember meeting leonards sister, sarah, for the first time.
i remember leo taking me to the apartments, the old apartments. meeting thomas, and austin, darren and nicole, and james. and brandon, although he didnt live there.

everything was new.
although thomas and austin, were kids i recognized from stanfield.
but id never got to know them till now.

forging new friendships...

except james the jameser northy.

i can remember staying up all night, watching movies, talking, or listening to new music.
music was amazing to me, i grew up in a closed space. wth muffled walls where it was hard to hear new things, but now i had broken free.

i remember walking to circle k at 2 am , my eyelids heavy, to try the new mountain dew (pitch black, wasnt the greatest to me, im more of a mountain dew live wire kind of person)

those were really good times.
then they moved to a new apartment complex. this is where james became a thief. where i met my girlfriend for the first time. this is where leo went missing because of his girlfriend. this is where nicole parted my hair a certain way that i kept for a long time. where brandon and i made a better friendship. where i had to sleep between thomas and louie on the pull out sofa, with aaron in the corner, with louie holding me periodically throught the night.(akward). this where i found out what zia's was. this is where i started ditching class. this is where me and austin went to johnny carinos, and we both hired, austin laughed at me for only lasting 2 days, then he quit at day 1. this is where i left school in the middle of the day cause it was austins birthday. this is where most of my teenage memories are probably, where i felt the best. thats what i am missing.

i turned 18, moved to the colony apartments with austin, darren, and nicole, jobless.
i hated being a moocher. i got foodstamps, so i could help some, i tried getting a job but no luck, maybe i didnt try hard enough. maybe my 2 days at johnnys didnt work in my favor who knows. late nights, austins drunken escapades, bikes, psp games, the photoshop terror club, fdisk, the shortlived brian experience, late nights, boca burgers (lots of mustard), my girlfriend and our long distance relationship (having to walk in hot heat to the movies, or walmart), walmart, walmart, gamestop, and walmart.

then my mom left my dad, i felt bad for him, so i left.
i dont think i ever explained why i left. just that i was going back home.

after that i think they seemed to dislike me, hate me even?
maybe i was seeing something that wasnt there, or feeling something that wasnt there. but if there were hard feelings, id like to know why. and if i did anything to upset you guys (austin, darren, nicole) im really sorry, and i didnt mean to do anything.

so here i am now, on my own and alone. living in phoenix. so id be able to see my girlfriend alison more than once a week. we made it through a year of that, and now its done and we are going on year 2.

missing lost, or fading friendships.
trying to not forget memories that mean a lot to me, even if they were insignificant to others. they ment a lot to me.

austin, sorry i didnt get to see you when you came down, i miss you though. hope youre happy and all

darren, you showed me a lot of music, and games, and metal gear acid was fun. hope i didnt do anything that had pissed you off.

micheal, i never get to see you when im down in cg, that will have to change.

david, dont kill yourself.

leo, sorry i bailed before you could wake up to see the last disc of lost. when i get paid ill i tunes it, and send it to you somehow.

thats all i got for now.
i started this off by saying who am i, this didnt explain that, i dont think.
so ill leave it like this, with an unanswered question.

p.s.

2007-01-02T22:04:00.001-08:00

milk.. was a bad choice

nights alone

2007-01-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

havent posted anything in awhile.

my girlfriend left to PA for a week. I miss her a lot and wish i was there with her.

i dropped her off at the airport december 31, at around 8, stayed with her for about an hour then left to casa grande.

sarah made good pasta, and then me, leonard, thomas and sarah (and marlboro too) watched seaon 1 of lost from about 11:30pm december 31, 2006 - 4:17 pm january 1st, 2007. great show great times.

i got to sleep for about 3 discs having seen them before. haha
then after it was all over, i drove home famished, and exhausted, luckily not crashing, got a quick bite from mcdonalds outside my apt, then showered then crashed.

i went to work today, still tired and got pulled over like a block away from my work.
a cop turned on to the street that i was stopped at a stop sign, and i went through it right as he turned, and i didnt seem him so ya. just a warning, he was cool. but i didnt have my insurance, luckily he believed me, so im getting a new card because i have no idea where it went.

came home after a long day. and read some comics, then watched season 2 episode 1 of lost, so i could find out what was in the damn hatch.. now im downloading episode 2 but it wont be done in time. so im going to bed and watching it tomorrow, depending on when i wake up, before work, if not certainly ater, because my girlfriend is gone and i have nothing to do.

i miss you.

old friends new places

2006-12-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

i had a great weekend.
i picked up leo from the airport. ive missed him so much. and all the fun times we used to have.
we drove down and ate some julio g's, where alison met us, then we went back to my apt. his sister sarah wanted him to go and see this show at a place called the trunkspace. it turns out thats where me alison and austin had a mix up a few years ago, we went there expecting to see some other show, but it turned out to be some kids birthday party, called jasonfest. i think the guys name was bob...

we sat there for an hour but it was some roast cause the and was leaving to cali, then we left cause it was not worth the 5 we spent to get in.

the next day we did our old thing, go to atomic comics, and bookmans.
though we went to different ones, i dont think he quite enjoyed it as he would have the ones we used to go. but we will go to them again. luckily hes here for 3 weeks, and i can hang out with him while alison is away in PA.

my only regret is not being able to go to justins party. i would have liked my old friend meet my new friend. but another time maybe.

im thankful that i do have friends, when i first moved here, and leo moved away it was a bit tough, i didnt really know the people that i worked with, and i dont have much in common to be able to be friends with any of alisons friends.

thats all for now i have to go to work.

saddle up and kill yourself

2006-12-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

my stupid apartment complex.
i paid everything the date it was due, and they say i owe them 7.10
then a dumb lady who i dont think she knows much of anything kept telling me i was comfused when i did EXACTLY what my contract stated. i said "no ma'am i am not confused, stop telling me i am confused, i have the paper right here infront of me that shows what i pay and when it is due, and right here i have my online transaction history dating since i moved in here. amazing thing is everything i the contract, matches it. so im not the one who is confused."

she wouldnt give up, and calimed it to be taxes on water or some shit, i got tired of talking to a mentally handcapped black woman, so i paid and left. definately not renewing my lease here, at saddleback apartments, and no one else should ever move here!

but they arent as bad as the nazi communist sheep fuckers at the colony. least from what i here.

anyway, im leaving for the airport in 3 hours, to pick up leonard! im very excited, i hope i dont get lost around sky harbor.

crowning achievements

2006-12-14T18:28:00.000-08:00

today, while playing our weekly thursday night basketball game after work, I, brian powell, scored the game winning point.

impressive.

also im addicted to comics.

if i stop i die

2006-12-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

today was hecktic. frustrating work. suicidal slow computer.

however lunch was good. me and j9 went down and got some comics.
i purchases, ZOMBIES! issue 1, Battlestar galactica issue 1, the darkness wolverine issue 1, and ghostrider issue 1 (for j9).

got out earlier, so im working a 10-11 hour day tomorrow.

last night i talked to leo on msn for hours. like good ole times.

and.
i bought
talledega nights.

shake and bake.

blanc monday

2006-12-11T23:59:00.000-08:00

I just got this blog.

i strolled out of bed at 9:30 am. showered and made my way to work.
just a plain day. i got out an hour early, but probably going in an hour early tomorrow to make up for it. or just a half hour tomorrow, then wendsday. and i got paid.

after work i went to atomic comics, and bought a few civil war comics, and ORIGIN. since my last one got torn up in thomas' car oh so long ago. then i stopped my zia's, and bought alison, 'shiny toy guns'. after that i went to her house, and ate. then i played the piano. i want to learn to play like i used to.

this weekend. leonard, and austin are comming down.
i miss them. and all the crazy times.

thats all for now.

also. the lost room is awesome